This past summer was a great time. I was able to attend the wedding of two good friends, which was the first one I had ever been to. I lived with some great guys. I spent my time on worthwhile activities (mostly).

I really enjoyed myself, and I frequently miss it. It is certainly nice to have the memories, though.

I'm going to begin posting more casually. This will largely consist of things that I make or find interesting.

That being said:

This a model of a WWII foxhole radio. When connected to an antenna or ground receiver, it picks up AM radio wavelengths. GI's would use these to listen to the news or sports scores where tube radio sets were not practical.

These can be made largely with household items and couple spare hours.

I assembled this one in an afternoon, and although I don't know a ton about radios, it works.

Hello everyone.

I haven't posted anything in quite sometime, so here's a quick update before we proceed:

-I'm doing well.

-My family seems to be well.

-I tore my ankle up a few weeks ago and it hasn't been the same since. I never realized how much I was taking mobility for granted. Not being able to run is slowly killing me.

-I'm ready to be out of college. Don't get me wrong, it has been a great experience, but I think it's about time to move on.

-Christmas is fast approaching!

Well, now that we're caught up.

I was heavily considering the lyrics of some of the better known contemporary praise-and-worship songs available today. This left a lot of questions.

Allow me to better explain.

Recently, and for the first time in my life, I tried to earnestly pursue a girl.
I really botched it up.

It was a learning experience, to be sure. More pointedly, the situation caused me to become unsure of myself. I lost confidence in who I was and what I was doing.

Today: This evening marked the conclusion of what I would consider to be a very poor day. A concentration of unfortunate things seemed to occur within close proximity of one another, setting me in a dour mood.

My point is this: we sit in church and sing "Your Grace is enough", but how far does that Truth really take us?

If I'm being honest with myself, the lyrics should read like this: "I would feel much more comfortable with the thought of Your Grace being enough if you would allow things to happen according to my desires and in my preferred time frame."

"Open the eyes of my heart, Lord, as long as it only shows me things that I want to see."

Doesn't really flow.

If I can let one wayward situation or unpleasant day shake the core of my being, then how satisfied in Him can I really claim to be?

This line of thinking draws me to the story of Joseph in Genesis. You have to believe that Joseph, being left for dead and sold into slavery for a number of years (as well as being human), at some point began to wonder where God's will could be found in his situation and where he might have strayed off of the path. However, by the end of the story we come to find out that this was the way by which God raised Joseph up to be, essentially, the Prime Minister of Egypt and put him in a position to save many people from famine.

During this process Joseph's brothers come to him and ask Joseph if he is going to kill them for what they had done to him. Joseph would have been well within his power in doing so, but instead he responds with this tremendous line that can be paraphrased as: "I'm not going to kill you because the very thing that you meant for harm, God meant for good."

God's plan is not always efficiency. This is frustrating. This is comforting.

"best to you in the discernment process"

Discernment: the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure.

In a spiritual context: Perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.

So here we go again.


The restless itch. Just when I thought that I had gotten a handle on it.

All through high school and the first few years of college I dreamt about the day when I could move to Alaska and travel the wilderness, husky companion by my side, until I settled down long enough to build a cabin (by hand), then wait for the next adventure to present itself. Or, just maybe, buy a one-way ticket to Ireland and work on a farm, or a fishing ship, for room and board.

These ideas of course serve as more ridiculous metaphors for a greater desire to experience the world in its entirety. I would regularly have yearnings to go out and explore beyond the borders that I have always known.
Why?
Are these ideas/desires a functional use of time? Not classically defined.
Are they even feasible? Probably not.
And yet there they are.

For almost a year I have tried to settle in to a mindset of being comfortable with the idea of living in the American southeast for the rest of my life and finding a nice, realistic, secure job. I convinced myself that I would be most useful in the future if I set very conventional goals and stayed in a place that provided me with comfort.
But that's all it was about: being comfortable.
I am convinced that God is not out to trick us. If I have been given a desire to go lead a life of exploration, then gosh darnit there's sure to be a reason for that. Maybe I'm not intended to roam the Icelandic countryside, but perhaps I have certain abilities and inclinations so that I may be of use in ways that others cannot.
I don't know if it is the autumn air or just the fact that I have been cooped up doing schoolwork for the better part of a month, but I want to get up and move. It probably hasn't helped much that I've been researching the heck out of various projects and travel locations (along with listening to mariachi music and watching a lot of westerns, but that is another discussion entirely) . It also probably hasn't helped that I have had multiple conversations on this subject with a like-minded friend of mine.
The adventurous spirit is contagious.
However, from our conversations, I believe we have both been led to very similar conclusions on the matter. Serving the Lord and pursuing your passion for exploration and experience does not have to happen on the other side of some great body of water. I think that's where a lot of people miss the mark. They are so focused on the need that they see on the television screen that they ignore the need at their front door.
That's not where I want to be: so dead-set on finding fulfillment for myself through my experience that I fail to fulfill others and fulfill the plan that God has for me. That's where discernment comes in, and it's an ongoing process. What am I supposed to do? When am I supposed to do it? Who am I supposed to do it with? How will I know if I'm staying on the right path?

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday. -Psalm 37:3-6

I'm thankful that I have been given a restless spirit. It will keep me from sitting down for too long and becoming useless.

And, what if I could take all of the focus that I place on giving my own life meaning and interest and redirect that effort towards investing in the needs and people around me now?

Well, wouldn't that be a wondrous thing?

i wanted to write,

but I don't have anything in particular to focus on.

So check this out:

"We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord, and you plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:1-3

-->This verse hit me like a two-story bus. Do you understand how true this is?
The quickest way to ensure failure is to try to force your own happiness removed from God's will. Our own strength can(will) falter, but His is unfailing. His wisdom is eternal. Trust in Him. Place your desires at His feet and follow where He may lead you.

-->I want to find something in this life that I can completely lose myself in; to dedicate my all to, body and soul. I am confident that I will find that one day.

-->I need to learn to place my trust in others. I want to have someone in my life that I can allow to know me the way no one else does: fully and truly. In conjunction with the potential of finding such a person, I have discovered the pressing need to heavily consider the verse posted above.

-->I want to be a father.

-->I need to let go of my fears. I need to let go of being afraid to take a step in the wrong direction, being afraid of failure, being afraid of putting myself too far out there, being afraid of the future, being afraid of giving up "control", and being afraid of investing in others. These things will serve to glorify nothing.

-->I love my mom.

-->School work is one of the least enjoyable things, perhaps only bested by going to the dentist, that I have ever experienced. I consider myself very lucky to be able to make that statement.

-->I want to help others.

-->There is so much that I need to work on, but even more that I need to be thankful for.

The disparity between comfort and contentment is massive.

There are many accounts in Scripture of the Lord calling individuals to be content in Him. However, to my knowledge, He never placed a calling on anyone to be comfortable.


"Happiness is reality minus expectations."



The new title picture of the page is a photo that I took from a spot in the Greenwood Parking Lot that overlooks the greater majority of the Appalachian State University campus. If you have never been there, I highly suggest that you check it out.

From Ephesians 1:16-19

“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.”

Anything worth gettin...

I have learned this: Anything that is worth having is worth working for.
And working hard.

The past three years have been one long lesson designed to teach me that, truly, everything happens for a reason.

My former understanding of this principle was: "If it isn't easy, it probably isn't right".

--My future profession will be laid at my feet by a wealthy, established land owner.

My future wife will walk up to me on the street corner wearing a wedding dress and a smile.

If I don't enjoy classes now, then I clearly should not pursue any post graduate education.

When I wake up tired, I am destined to go back to bed for another 2 hours rather than catch some fish or go to church.--

More recently (actually very recently) I have developed a much better understanding. We are not, as humans, designed to sit passively by and allow things to happen to us. "Everything happens for a reason". What this means is that we are given the desire to pursue that which we feel is right. We are also given the ability to follow through with these pursuits. The struggles that we encounter along the way are what build character and strength.

Also courage. Failure will be a part of this system. It is through failure that we grow the most. By this logic, we must not fear failure, but pursue truth with all of our heart and let come what may. The worst thing a person can do is let the possibility of failure cripple the potential of their success.

God never told us it would be easy, but it was promised that He would protect and support those who would but trust in His power and grace.

1 Peter 3:13-14
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.

Last night I drove out to the Blue Ridge Parkway to sleep under the stars. The moon was full and beautiful, but shone so brightly that none of the stars were visible.
This is probably the beginning of some meaningful allusion referencing the frailness of plans and the virtue of potential. However, right now I don't have my head on straight enough to attempt such a subject.

I'll try again later.

woah

If you want to make a mind-blowing prophetic connection, read Psalms 22 in conjunction with Mark 15:34 and consider the following:

Jesus cried out from the cross, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is, being interpreted, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Many people believe that this was expressive of his lamentation at the Lord turning away from Christ as he took on the sins of the world.
However, there may be an alternative explanation.

Please take the time to now read Psalms 22 in its entirety:
http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=psalms+22

The Pharisees were standing around the base of the crucifixion site and heard these words spoken. These were men who had dedicated their lives to memorizing the Hebrew scriptures. Although Jesus did not have the strength to recite every piece of this prophecy that was recorded over 1000 years prior, they were able to fill in the blanks.

Mark 15:
"38 And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. 39 And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”"

Note: this was written on July 3. Thank you.


And so, ladies and gentlemen, we've come to the 234th anniversary of our country being declared an independent nation.
I know that there are a lot of problems within the infrastructure of this great nation. I am also aware that there is sentiment aplenty worldwide that we are handling our business all wrong.


Let me tell you why I love America.

I love the Southeast. I love boiled peanuts. I love the Appalachian mountains. I love looking at pictures of places out west that I have never been to, but would like to see. I love fishing. I love Ford trucks (particularly mine). I love the freedoms that we enjoy and the people that fight to protect them. I love being able to walk down to a Hardee's and have a cup of coffee on any given morning. I love the gift of an accessible education. I love grilling Sunday dinner with my dad on our back porch. I love a well-stocked hardware store. I love the smell of apple pie and peach cobbler. I love a good Arnold Palmer (both the drink and the man). I love sitting in a rocking chair and watching the sun set. I love Levi's bluejeans. I love waking up early Saturday mornings to eat cereal and watch cartoons. I love sports. I love dressing up for church, then hurrying home after service to get into some real clothes. I love barbecue.
I love that anyone on any given day possess the inalienable right to disagree with anything that I say.

I know we have our problems, but this is still the greatest country on the face of the earth.

It is, and will always be, my home.

New 1-mile personal record: 5 min 18 sec

I am not a smooth individual.
I get tongue tied. I stammer. I cannot properly articulate my opinions in unfamiliar conversation. I still get nervous around a pretty girl (really).
This blog has been a good way for me to say things in a way that I could not otherwise say them. As strange as I feel about writing my thoughts on an internet page, I find that I can be much more collected and linear with my thinking if I write it out. It's nice to have a medium on which I can record my deliberations, if for no other reason than to straighten them out in my own head, and move along.

Thanks for reading this little page of mine. I hope it has brought you some entertainment, at the very least.

All the way

Those of you who don't know me very well might be a bit surprised by the outset of this next post:


These are the United States Army Rangers.
They are cool.

For the past year and a half I have been considering joining the military. My ultimate goal would be to become an Army Ranger and see how far that course could take me. This possibility did not form overnight. It was one result of several events and considerations spanning a decent period of time. I do not doubt that I am capable of military life and all of the challenges, physical and mental, that it may immediately present. Additionally, much of my family served in the military at one point or another. I ran the idea past my parents. My mom was not necessarily excited.
No surprise.

I knew that this could be an important, potentially life-changing, decision. In light of this fact, I've taken the past two months to seriously consider whether or not I felt that a career in the military was really the right way to go.
Recently, I have been making an effort to talk to a few available resources. I have also been praying, which has not yielded any notable response.
Or so I thought.

Two days ago, a question latched onto me:
"What do you want most in your future?"
My response: "A family. A wife, children, a dog (maybe two). To care for them in the best way that I can."
From that, I had to consider whether or not I would be able to properly devote myself to both raising a family and to a career serving my country in the armed forces.
No, I honestly do not think that I could.
Don't get me wrong, there are many individuals that are quite capable of fulfilling the obligations of both stations to the best of their abilities. However, I do not believe that I am among them. Balancing has never been my strong suit.
I cannot imagine a half-way commitment to the military in the same way that I cannot imagine a half-way commitment to my family.
So, in short, I do not intend to become a soldier. I do hope and pray that one day I can have the incredible opportunity to become a father.

My cousin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRRF_M2T-vY&feature=related

Mom's emails

Philippians 4:4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

These are the two verses that my mom sent to me in an email yesterday.
Every day she takes verses and lessons from her morning Bible study and attempts to share them with me. My usual course of action is to browse over them out of a sense of obligation, and I'll say I'm not proud of that fact.
However, the message of these two verses got stuck in my head for the better part of a day. I've read them each at least one hundred times, and I felt like they had never really meant anything to me beyond the superficial Sunday school application that I had attached to them. I guess it was this realization that lead me to really understand the problem.
Allow me to ramble:
I had a thought the other day: "If someone were to ask me what the most important thing in my life is, what would I say?" My immediate response: My relationship with Christ/trying to grow daily as a man of God.

Really?

I asked myself that question in the shower before I went to CRU. It was the first time that I had been to CRU in months, and I almost ended up not going because I would have rather gone to the gym. Or to Hardee's. The last time I had sat down for a Bible study was buried in ancient sands. The last time that I had prayed over something that didn't involve food was also in the foggy distance. Why?
I realized that I had completely let go of any meaningful connection that I had with the Holy Spirit. I was living life as I wanted and sort of floating through without any real purpose. That's not the way that I was designed to live. I know that my problems by a global standard are about as minor as you can get. However, I have reached a point of uncertainty in many regards. I'm not certain about my current educational situation. I'm uncertain about my job and housing situation next year. I'm uncertain about my long-term goals; career, family, or otherwise.
The problem is that I was trying to rely on myself to lead myself in the direction that myself thought was best. There are too many myselfs in that equation for success to be the result. I am weak, even by human standards. I'm also tired. I can't do it alone and I shouldn't try to.
That is what these two verses are explaining. Ask the Lord and he will provide you with the strength, understanding, and peace that you need to get through the trials. He wants you to connect with Him and trust Him. He doesn't want to trick you or somehow hold you back from fulfilling your potential. Quite the contrary.
That's what I've been missing lately. It has not even been in the back of my mind recently. His will and His purpose for me have taken a serious backseat to my own interests and priorities. When I really analyze it, I don't particularly care for that notion. I've been guilty of pride and placing my desires and plans at the top of the pedestal, without trusting that God knows what's best and is preparing me for what the future may hold.
I'm done with that. Lead me.

if You could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, Your life
should that be all i'll ever need
or is there more i'm looking for

and should i read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
to make me handsome, rich, and wise
is that really what You want

i am a whore i do confess
but i put You on just like a wedding dress
and i run down the aisle
i'm a prodigal with no way home
but i put You on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to You

so could You love this bastard child
though i don't trust You to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in Your side
i am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers less wild
that i would take a little cash
over Your very flesh and blood

Wedding Dress - Derek Webb

Bro Time

Some of my best friends in the world are in the above picture. They will all be graduating from college after this semester, while I will be staying behind. Not one of these men are what I would consider ordinary. Every one of them are capable of great things, and I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to be influenced by them. Probably the most profound aspect of my college experience has been the company that I have kept.
Looking at this picture got me to thinking about mentorship. It's never really emphasized specifically, but we can see examples of it all throughout the Bible, particularly in the Old Testament.

1 Thessalonians 2:8

“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well…”

I've heard it said that mentoring is God's way to lift another toward their full potential. Obviously this kind of thing happens in installments, but I feel like these guys have done more than their fair share. For the past three years, they have been true examples of what it means to not only share your faith with those closest to you, but also share your life, good and bad, with those that you trust. I have some incredible memories thanks to them and the bond that we all formed, and I feel like the best in each of them has had an impact on my own growth.
Can't ask for more than that.
I will miss them, but I am grateful to have had the opportunity to know them, and hope that our friendships will all endure well past the bounds of college graduation.


Thanks guys.


1 Timothy 4:12

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

get over the sun.

I would like to repost something, if I may:

"3/24/10

get over the sun.

i would first like to say that i have a great number of doubts about the passage of the recent healthcare bill, the greatest of which is in regards to it actually fixing anything.

The reason that's the first thing i said was not because it's the first thing on my mind. i simply said it first to implicate myself of that which i am very shortly going to blitzkrieg. i am implicated because i would be lying if i said i had not been involved in at least two bitter conversations this week involving this specific matter (and many more involving the current administration, especially shortly after President Obama's inauguration) where absolutely nothing constructive was discussed or even thought about, really. Only an intense dislike, both verbally and mentally, of those in power in Washington, the center of "this great nation."

Onward. To "Conservative Christians." i am beyond appalled, and have approached disgust and anger, at the reaction you have given against not only this most recent bill, but against President Obama and his administration. It is legitimate hatred that many have given the President. The very same hatred given to President Bush during his term, over which you all weeped and wailed and gnashed your teeth.

Do i agree with President Obama's politics? Certainly not. Have i called my senator to voice any opinion besides the vote I cast in November, 2008? Certainly not, and as such is the case i find have no real grounds to complain about this recently passed bill. Have you called your senator? Can we complain about politicians not listening to us if there is nothing for them to hear?

Do you "Conservative Christians" agree with this healthcare bill?

It is EXTREMELY AND LOUDLY APPARENT THAT YOU DON'T. THE ECONOMY IS GOING TO FALL APART; OUR CHILDREN ARE GOING TO GROW UP IN A SOCIETY TOTALLY DEVOID OF SENSE AND MORALS; AND WE SHOULD MOVE TO NEW ZEALAND. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OUT OF COURTHOUSES. HOMOSEXUALITY IS MUCH, MUCH WORSE THAN THE PORNOGRAPHY ON MY HP LAPTOP. IN FACT, IT IS MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD, AND THAT IS WHY I TREAT ANY NON-HETEROSEXUALS AS IF THEY ARE NOT REALLY HUMANS. I KEEP THE SABBATH HOLY AND THAT'S WHY I DO NOTHING BUT WATCH FOOTBALL WHILE MY WIFE COOKS AND CLEANS ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON. THE WAR IN IRAQ IS GOD'S WILL. YOU CAN'T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORIST SONS OF BI...GUNS.

I LOVE JESUS.

really?



We--yes we, you and i, whether we are conservative or liberal or confused--we cannot continue in this manner. i am as guilty of the spewing of hatred as anyone else, but after being pointed to the following i don't see how myself or anyone who seeks to make Jesus' name famous can refuse to change the way we view those in leadership of our country.

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."

Romans 13:1-7


i write this stuff because i've been charged, convicted and declared guilty--by my own actions--of that which i lament. i just want us to realize that what we have been in the habit of doing has built so many walls against the gospel that we now have this term, "Conservative Christian," which is the subject of much derision in our society. Much of the response we've received is the only response we could expect to be given to a grace-less group of people claiming to have been saved by Grace. Jesus was not a politician. He was not a conservative. He was not liberal. He was God. He is God. And here's the thing: He is in control. He is worthy of trust. He will take care of His sheep, even when it seems like the wolves outnumber the fold two to one. So be a responsible citizen. Vote and try to attain a clear conscience when you do. But think very, very carefully before you enter the political realm, for there is much harm that can be done there.

Jesus is King, and to His Kingdom there will be no end. "

-The one and only Jared Korver

Still Life

I'm not quite sure how to best approach this next topic. It stems from a culmination of events and contemplations that I have been sifting through for almost a year and a half now. I suppose I will just write candidly and let my thoughts flow onto the page as my mind wanders.
We have lost all perception of what love is to be in our society. The simplicity and purity of it has become tainted by the bend of culture and the influence of preconceived notions. It has become a game in which short term success and satisfaction outweighs the greater purpose of caring for someone who has an incredible impact on your heart. This represents a complete aberration in one of the most simple acts known to man. Within the context of love, romantic or otherwise, the basis of human nature is voluntarily contrasted. The desire to selflessly consider the needs of another before the needs of yourself contradicts any assumed instinct toward self-betterment. Why, then, are such feelings entertained and pursued? The answer must rest within the simple devotion that one is willing to express in order to be a part of someone's life in a significant way, and in turn have them be a part of theirs.
I believe that this love is an extension of an unconditional love poured into us by a God who expressed his care through the greatest gift of all. Understanding that this love is channeled from such a greater source, we come to appreciate the magnitude and power of such action and its implications. It surely is not something to be taken lightly, but instead an ability worthy of gratitude and adequate effort.

I will talk plainly and simply for this next bit:
If you have been granted the opportunity to be with the one that you care for most, if you can look them in the eyes and tell them how you truly feel about them, then you are indeed blessed. Cherish them and give them the care that they deserve. Do not take them for granted. Respect them, put them first, guard their heart, uplift them. Be a representative of the love that God has shown down upon his creation, and reflect that love in all its simplicity, beauty, and purity. Do not taint such a special thing with selfish desires and petty doubts. Do not let the influences of external agents or prior circumstances undermine that gift.

I will talk more on this subject later.

Filthy rich or dirt poor:
You're apparently unclean either way.

In Africa, when a gazelle wakes up it thinks: 'If I don't start running, the lion is going to eat me." When the lion wakes up he thinks: "If I don't run faster than the gazelle, I'm going to starve." The point is: It doesn't matter who you are, when you wake up you better get moving.