"best to you in the discernment process"

Discernment: the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure.

In a spiritual context: Perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.

So here we go again.


The restless itch. Just when I thought that I had gotten a handle on it.

All through high school and the first few years of college I dreamt about the day when I could move to Alaska and travel the wilderness, husky companion by my side, until I settled down long enough to build a cabin (by hand), then wait for the next adventure to present itself. Or, just maybe, buy a one-way ticket to Ireland and work on a farm, or a fishing ship, for room and board.

These ideas of course serve as more ridiculous metaphors for a greater desire to experience the world in its entirety. I would regularly have yearnings to go out and explore beyond the borders that I have always known.
Why?
Are these ideas/desires a functional use of time? Not classically defined.
Are they even feasible? Probably not.
And yet there they are.

For almost a year I have tried to settle in to a mindset of being comfortable with the idea of living in the American southeast for the rest of my life and finding a nice, realistic, secure job. I convinced myself that I would be most useful in the future if I set very conventional goals and stayed in a place that provided me with comfort.
But that's all it was about: being comfortable.
I am convinced that God is not out to trick us. If I have been given a desire to go lead a life of exploration, then gosh darnit there's sure to be a reason for that. Maybe I'm not intended to roam the Icelandic countryside, but perhaps I have certain abilities and inclinations so that I may be of use in ways that others cannot.
I don't know if it is the autumn air or just the fact that I have been cooped up doing schoolwork for the better part of a month, but I want to get up and move. It probably hasn't helped much that I've been researching the heck out of various projects and travel locations (along with listening to mariachi music and watching a lot of westerns, but that is another discussion entirely) . It also probably hasn't helped that I have had multiple conversations on this subject with a like-minded friend of mine.
The adventurous spirit is contagious.
However, from our conversations, I believe we have both been led to very similar conclusions on the matter. Serving the Lord and pursuing your passion for exploration and experience does not have to happen on the other side of some great body of water. I think that's where a lot of people miss the mark. They are so focused on the need that they see on the television screen that they ignore the need at their front door.
That's not where I want to be: so dead-set on finding fulfillment for myself through my experience that I fail to fulfill others and fulfill the plan that God has for me. That's where discernment comes in, and it's an ongoing process. What am I supposed to do? When am I supposed to do it? Who am I supposed to do it with? How will I know if I'm staying on the right path?

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday. -Psalm 37:3-6

I'm thankful that I have been given a restless spirit. It will keep me from sitting down for too long and becoming useless.

And, what if I could take all of the focus that I place on giving my own life meaning and interest and redirect that effort towards investing in the needs and people around me now?

Well, wouldn't that be a wondrous thing?

i wanted to write,

but I don't have anything in particular to focus on.

So check this out:

"We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord, and you plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:1-3

-->This verse hit me like a two-story bus. Do you understand how true this is?
The quickest way to ensure failure is to try to force your own happiness removed from God's will. Our own strength can(will) falter, but His is unfailing. His wisdom is eternal. Trust in Him. Place your desires at His feet and follow where He may lead you.

-->I want to find something in this life that I can completely lose myself in; to dedicate my all to, body and soul. I am confident that I will find that one day.

-->I need to learn to place my trust in others. I want to have someone in my life that I can allow to know me the way no one else does: fully and truly. In conjunction with the potential of finding such a person, I have discovered the pressing need to heavily consider the verse posted above.

-->I want to be a father.

-->I need to let go of my fears. I need to let go of being afraid to take a step in the wrong direction, being afraid of failure, being afraid of putting myself too far out there, being afraid of the future, being afraid of giving up "control", and being afraid of investing in others. These things will serve to glorify nothing.

-->I love my mom.

-->School work is one of the least enjoyable things, perhaps only bested by going to the dentist, that I have ever experienced. I consider myself very lucky to be able to make that statement.

-->I want to help others.

-->There is so much that I need to work on, but even more that I need to be thankful for.

The disparity between comfort and contentment is massive.

There are many accounts in Scripture of the Lord calling individuals to be content in Him. However, to my knowledge, He never placed a calling on anyone to be comfortable.


"Happiness is reality minus expectations."



The new title picture of the page is a photo that I took from a spot in the Greenwood Parking Lot that overlooks the greater majority of the Appalachian State University campus. If you have never been there, I highly suggest that you check it out.

From Ephesians 1:16-19

“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.”

Anything worth gettin...

I have learned this: Anything that is worth having is worth working for.
And working hard.

The past three years have been one long lesson designed to teach me that, truly, everything happens for a reason.

My former understanding of this principle was: "If it isn't easy, it probably isn't right".

--My future profession will be laid at my feet by a wealthy, established land owner.

My future wife will walk up to me on the street corner wearing a wedding dress and a smile.

If I don't enjoy classes now, then I clearly should not pursue any post graduate education.

When I wake up tired, I am destined to go back to bed for another 2 hours rather than catch some fish or go to church.--

More recently (actually very recently) I have developed a much better understanding. We are not, as humans, designed to sit passively by and allow things to happen to us. "Everything happens for a reason". What this means is that we are given the desire to pursue that which we feel is right. We are also given the ability to follow through with these pursuits. The struggles that we encounter along the way are what build character and strength.

Also courage. Failure will be a part of this system. It is through failure that we grow the most. By this logic, we must not fear failure, but pursue truth with all of our heart and let come what may. The worst thing a person can do is let the possibility of failure cripple the potential of their success.

God never told us it would be easy, but it was promised that He would protect and support those who would but trust in His power and grace.

1 Peter 3:13-14
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.

Last night I drove out to the Blue Ridge Parkway to sleep under the stars. The moon was full and beautiful, but shone so brightly that none of the stars were visible.
This is probably the beginning of some meaningful allusion referencing the frailness of plans and the virtue of potential. However, right now I don't have my head on straight enough to attempt such a subject.

I'll try again later.

woah

If you want to make a mind-blowing prophetic connection, read Psalms 22 in conjunction with Mark 15:34 and consider the following:

Jesus cried out from the cross, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is, being interpreted, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Many people believe that this was expressive of his lamentation at the Lord turning away from Christ as he took on the sins of the world.
However, there may be an alternative explanation.

Please take the time to now read Psalms 22 in its entirety:
http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=psalms+22

The Pharisees were standing around the base of the crucifixion site and heard these words spoken. These were men who had dedicated their lives to memorizing the Hebrew scriptures. Although Jesus did not have the strength to recite every piece of this prophecy that was recorded over 1000 years prior, they were able to fill in the blanks.

Mark 15:
"38 And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. 39 And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”"