I am not a smooth individual.
I get tongue tied. I stammer. I cannot properly articulate my opinions in unfamiliar conversation. I still get nervous around a pretty girl (really).
This blog has been a good way for me to say things in a way that I could not otherwise say them. As strange as I feel about writing my thoughts on an internet page, I find that I can be much more collected and linear with my thinking if I write it out. It's nice to have a medium on which I can record my deliberations, if for no other reason than to straighten them out in my own head, and move along.

Thanks for reading this little page of mine. I hope it has brought you some entertainment, at the very least.

All the way

Those of you who don't know me very well might be a bit surprised by the outset of this next post:


These are the United States Army Rangers.
They are cool.

For the past year and a half I have been considering joining the military. My ultimate goal would be to become an Army Ranger and see how far that course could take me. This possibility did not form overnight. It was one result of several events and considerations spanning a decent period of time. I do not doubt that I am capable of military life and all of the challenges, physical and mental, that it may immediately present. Additionally, much of my family served in the military at one point or another. I ran the idea past my parents. My mom was not necessarily excited.
No surprise.

I knew that this could be an important, potentially life-changing, decision. In light of this fact, I've taken the past two months to seriously consider whether or not I felt that a career in the military was really the right way to go.
Recently, I have been making an effort to talk to a few available resources. I have also been praying, which has not yielded any notable response.
Or so I thought.

Two days ago, a question latched onto me:
"What do you want most in your future?"
My response: "A family. A wife, children, a dog (maybe two). To care for them in the best way that I can."
From that, I had to consider whether or not I would be able to properly devote myself to both raising a family and to a career serving my country in the armed forces.
No, I honestly do not think that I could.
Don't get me wrong, there are many individuals that are quite capable of fulfilling the obligations of both stations to the best of their abilities. However, I do not believe that I am among them. Balancing has never been my strong suit.
I cannot imagine a half-way commitment to the military in the same way that I cannot imagine a half-way commitment to my family.
So, in short, I do not intend to become a soldier. I do hope and pray that one day I can have the incredible opportunity to become a father.