I would like to speak to just the women out there for a moment:
Recently I have met a few incredibly nice young ladies (many of whom were from other parts of the world). In addition, I have had quite a few conversations with friends of mine and my sister which have inspired me to write a little advisory piece.
Now, I have never really effectively pursued a woman in what I would like to consider the proper fashion. However, I feel like I have something to offer in the way of advice to girls from a man's perspective when dealing with the realm of courtship.
Traditionally, it is the burden of the man in the relationship to be the initiator and put forth effort at the onset. I fully support and endorse this. However, I feel like this is often taken to a one-sided extreme.
Girls, as the ones being pursued, you are not absolved of responsibility. Guys must display courage by approaching you and presenting the prospect of beginning a dating relationship. You, in turn, must show courage and respect by being decisive, honest, and upfront in whether or not you wish to enter in to a romantic relationship. Remember that guys have feelings too, and are most likely nervous. Make it as easy as possible on them.
A man who is putting his heart on the line in order to win yours is just as easily led on as anyone. Make sure that you treat others with the respect that you would appreciate in return.
I've heard it said time and again that "all guys are just jerks". This simply is not true. There are a ton of great guys out there. Unfortunately, most are much less likely to be the type to approach you directly (which is something that this generation of men need to correct).
Here are some hints:
-Watch out for guys who only communicate through text messages or over facebook. Any worthwhile guy will respect you enough to try and talk to you face-to-face or have a good telephone conversation.
-Believe it or not, not every guy is Joe Cool around a girl that he has feelings for. If a guy is a smooth talker, there is usually a reason for that.
-If a guy is a scumbag, treat him as such. It will either: a)teach him that being a scumbag is wrong and an ineffective way to win people over, or b) cause him to be alone in his scumbaginess. Don't keep making concessions for guys who don't treat you with the respect that you deserve.
-A man being overly insensitive is not a good thing. However, sometimes a man being overly sensitive can be an even worse thing. Appreciate the differences between men and women. Let a man be a man.
-Expect more from men (and people in general). Expect a guy to treat you well. Don't be blown away when they open a door for you. If you expect more out of others, they will usually find that they can live up to the standard, and, in turn, respect you and expect more out of you. Everyone wins.
-Don't read/watch Twilight. I don't know anything about it, but I do know that:
1) Vampires and werewolve are not real, and if they were it would be awful,
2) Girls' perceptions of actual love and realistic courtship are being ruined by these kinds of series, and
3) I've heard the books are poorly written.
-Don't overthink a situation or cause it to be more than it is. If you are curious about something or think it might become an issue, just ask. Most guys are actually incredibly straight forward if you just ask rather than trying to figure out what is going on behind the scenes. There usually is no behind the scenes, and open communication is always a great thing.
Hope this helps a bit.
